On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
