What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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