Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
