walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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