Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
