exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
