Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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