the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
