Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
