I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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