I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
