she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
