I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
