yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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