I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
