Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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