I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
