...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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