So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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