this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
