absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
