we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
