Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
