I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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