the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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