I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
