she woke up with a sticky ear
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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