why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
