Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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