I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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