need another drink. this is the easiest way
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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