so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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