I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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