I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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