would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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