Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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