normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
