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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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