I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
