I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
