Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
