Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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