Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
