We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
