oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
