I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
