Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
