I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
