I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
