I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
love makes seman taste better
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
